Guides
One theme at a time, with the hacks that belong to it.
Relationships
Desire in a long relationship
Sex gone quiet, wanting it at different times, and what tiredness does to it. What holds up, and what's being sold.
7 min read · 8 hacks
Stress and nerves
Drinking more than you meant to
The third beer that was meant to be one. The flat Sunday. The drink at six to stop thinking about work.
7 min read · 6 hacks
Mood
Feeling flat
Still showing up, still working, and nothing has felt like much in weeks. What's going on, and what to do first.
9 min read · 10 hacks
Stress and nerves
Hearing the truth about yourself
Criticism from a boss, "you always do this" from a partner, being wrong in front of people. How to hear it without running.
6 min read · 8 hacks
Relationships
How closeness actually forms
Dating and the first months. The vasopressin story, the "36 questions", the puzzle trick, and what the research really says.
8 min read · 8 hacks
Relationships
Keeping a relationship good
Small, repeatable things that hold a long relationship together. No big talk required.
8 min read · 12 hacks
Memory and learning
Keeping your brain plastic
Why your head goes dull on the same commute, what "neuroplasticity" actually means, and what keeps an adult brain learning.
9 min read · 13 hacks
Friends
Making and keeping friends as a grown man
Why the circle thins out, what it takes to build one, and where to start from zero.
8 min read · 9 hacks
Stress and nerves
Money and stress
The bill you don't open, the sums at 2am, the fight about spending. Small moves for the head doing the maths.
8 min read · 7 hacks
Family
Parents, in-laws, brothers and sisters
The family you didn't choose, as a grown man. What's normal, what's oversold, and small things that help.
10 min read · 11 hacks
Memory and learning
Remembering what matters
The name, the thing she told you, the point of the meeting. How to make things stick, and what the "amygdala" story gets wrong.
7 min read · 10 hacks
Sleep
Sleeping well
One wake-up time, a few things before bed, a plan for the bad nights. What holds up and what's oversold.
10 min read · 14 hacks
Happiness
What actually makes men happy
Fine on paper, flat in practice. The eighty-year study, the money question, and the few things that hold up.
8 min read · 11 hacks
Stress and nerves
What stress does in your body
Cortisol, sleep, belly fat, other people's stress. What holds up from the podcasts, what doesn't, what to do.
8 min read · 12 hacks
Purpose
What you're for
For the man who does everything for everyone and can't say what it's all for. Purpose, in the research and in practice.
10 min read · 11 hacks
Energy
Where the day's energy comes from and where it leaks
Light, timing, moving, water and what's in the cup. What holds up, and what's oversold.
11 min read · 14 hacks
Focus and work
Why you keep scrolling
What the feed is doing to your attention, in plain words, and how to stop without willpower.
8 min read · 11 hacks
Family
With the kids, on ordinary days
Kids from about two to twelve, a normal weekday, and the temper you didn't mean to lose.
10 min read · 10 hacks
Stress and nerves
Fighting your battles alone
What handling everything by yourself does to your head, and the smallest ways to stop.
7 min read · 11 hacks
Happiness
Holding a good moment
A decent evening, gone by the time you brush your teeth. How memory scores a moment, and how to keep one.
13 min read · 14 hacks