Friendships don't end. They lapse. The fix is structural: a standing slot, a message sent before it's awkward, a monthly thing that needs no planning.
Start here
Keeping them
Keeping them
A standing slot with friends
Same people, same time, every week or two. Football, a walk, a pub, a game. Put it in the calendar as a repeat.
2 hours a weekEvidence: decent
Keeping them
Add a friend at the big changes
New job, a move, a baby, retirement. In the first three months, pick one person from the new setting and suggest something specific. Then again a fortnight later.
10 minEvidence: worth trying
Keeping them
Do something for someone
Coach, fix, drive, volunteer, mentor. A regular slot, not a one-off.
1–2 hours a weekEvidence: decent
Keeping them
Games night, monthly
Cards, board games, chess, poker. Same people, fixed date, rotate the game.
3 hours a monthEvidence: worth trying
Keeping them
Send the message you're not sending
The friend you've been meaning to contact: two lines, now. Thought of you, no need to reply.
1 minEvidence: decent
Keeping them
Talk to the cashier
Small talk with people you don't know. The barista, the neighbour, the man at the next bench. Thirty seconds.
no timeEvidence: decent
Making new ones
Making new ones
Book the next one before you leave
With someone you'd like as a friend, suggest the next meeting before this one ends. Keep suggesting until they start doing it too.
1 minEvidence: decent
Making new ones
Join something that repeats
Look up one thing near you that meets every week without you organising it. A club, a team, a volunteer shift, a class you stay after for a coffee. Go to the next one.
2 hours a weekEvidence: worth trying
Making new ones
They liked you more than you think
Got on with someone new? Assume it went better than it felt. Message them and suggest one specific thing.
1 minEvidence: decent