steady

Family · With the kids

Two minutes before you walk in

Before you open the front door, stop for two minutes. Ask one question. Was today heavy with work, or heavy with people? Then choose your first sentence inside, and make it a hello.

2 minEvidence: worth trying

One small study followed 15 fathers who worked as air-traffic controllers across three workdays. After days with a heavy workload, they pulled back from their kids that evening. After days with trouble between people at work, they were angrier and disciplined more. Evidence: worth trying

That's a tiny study, one job, from 1994. Take it as a hint, not a finding.

The two minutes are for noticing which evening you're carrying in. A heavy day pulls toward going quiet on them. A day of friction with people pulls toward a short fuse. Nobody has tested whether stopping at the door changes what happens next. Evidence: worth trying

Then, inside, keep the phone off the table for the first minutes.

Source: Repetti, 1994, Social Development (15 fathers, three workdays) (link)

Same theme: With the kids

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