A large review of parenting programmes for children up to seven pulled apart which parts did the work. Responding to the same behaviour the same way every time was one of the parts with bigger effects. Evidence: solid
One rule you hold every time is worth more than five you hold when you have the energy. That's my reading of it, not something the review tested. Evidence: worth trying
If you and your partner handle it differently, the kid has two rules. Agree the words, and agree what happens when it's broken.
The review stopped at seven. Older kids still need rules. The evidence here just doesn't cover them.
Same theme: With the kids
With the kids
Catch the surge, not the shout
Learn the first sign your temper is climbing: jaw, hands, voice. When it comes, stop mid-sentence and do the double breath before you say another word.
1 minEvidence: worth trying
With the kids
Five minutes where they lead
Once a day, five minutes with your kid doing whatever they pick. You follow, describe what they're doing, no questions, no phone, no teaching.
5 minEvidence: decent
With the kids
Rough play, then a landing
Wrestle or chase at their pace. Stop the moment they say stop, every time. Then land it together. Sit, slow down, a drink of water, before anything else.
10 minEvidence: worth trying