steady

Family · With the kids

Five minutes where they lead

Once a day, five minutes with your kid doing whatever they pick. You follow, describe what they're doing, no questions, no phone, no teaching.

5 minEvidence: decent

This is lifted from a parenting programme with a strong track record: five minutes a day where the child is in charge and the parent just narrates and joins in. Across 23 trials the full programme, coached sessions plus this daily homework, cuts behaviour problems by a large margin and lowers parents' stress. Evidence: solid The five minutes on their own have never been tested apart from the rest. Evidence: worth trying

The trials are with children roughly two to seven with real behaviour problems. Evidence: solid For an ordinary kid, or a teenager, treat it as a good habit rather than a treatment. With teenagers the version is: their music in the car, no comment.

The hard part is not asking questions. Try it once and you'll see.

Source: Eyberg, 1988, Child and Family Behavior Therapy (Parent-Child Interaction Therapy, "special time"); Thomas et al., 2017, Pediatrics (meta-analysis) (link)

Same theme: With the kids

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