Ask about their life, and write it down

"What was your first job?" "Where did you live when you were my age?" Small questions, answered once, written down.

Going back over your life with someone who listens has been studied a lot in older people. A review of 128 studies found moderate improvements in depression, and in what researchers call ego integrity: the sense that your life has made sense. Evidence: decent

Dignity Therapy is a structured version, a guided conversation about a person's life and what they want to leave behind. It was tested with seriously ill patients in palliative care, the care given when an illness can no longer be cured. In a trial that finished with 326 of them, it didn't lower overall distress, the main thing measured. Evidence: decent Patients did report less sadness than with standard care, and better spiritual wellbeing than with one of the other approaches. Evidence: worth trying

Neither was tested as something a son does at the kitchen table. Those were older people in structured sessions and seriously ill patients in clinical care. Evidence: decent The home version is untested. Evidence: worth trying The plain reason to do it anyway: some questions have a deadline.

If your parent is seriously ill, ask their hospice or palliative care team. They can point you to Dignity Therapy or something like it, done properly.