steady

Relationships · Desire

Say the gap out loud, once

On a calm day, outside the bedroom, say it plainly: I think we want it at different times. Then ask how it is for your partner, and listen.

10 minEvidence: worth trying

In a study of 133 college couples, a bigger gap in how much each partner wanted sex went with lower satisfaction: sexual satisfaction for the women, satisfaction with the relationship for the men. Evidence: decent They were young couples, not long-married ones, so take it as a hint about your situation, not a measurement of it.

Say it once. Not to settle who's right. Just so neither of you is left guessing what the silence means.

It goes both ways. Sometimes you're the one who wants it less, and that's worth saying too.

Source: Mark and Murray, 2012, Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (link)

Same theme: Desire

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