In data from over thirty thousand people, wellbeing rose with how often couples had sex, up to about once a week. Past that, flat. And in a trial where couples were told to double their frequency, mood and desire went down, not up. Evidence: decent
What does carry: in a diary study of newlyweds, feeling good about sex lasted about two days afterwards, and couples with a stronger afterglow were more satisfied months later. Evidence: decent So quality and affection, not a number.
If desire has dropped off a cliff and you don't know why, that's a doctor conversation before it's a relationship one. Depression, some medications and low testosterone all do it.
Same theme: Day to day
Day to day
Answer the small stuff
When your partner points something out, a bird, a headline, a thing about their day, look up and say something. Three seconds.
no timeEvidence: worth trying
Day to day
Do something new together
Ninety minutes a week, something neither of you has done. A climbing wall, a cooking class, a town you've never been to. Slightly out of your depth is the point.
90 min a weekEvidence: decent
Day to day
Hug for a slow count of twenty
Before a hard day, or a hard conversation, one long hug. Count to twenty in your head. No talking.
1 minEvidence: decent