New trouble getting or keeping an erection can be an early sign of heart and blood-vessel disease. Across long-term studies, men with erection problems had more heart and blood-vessel trouble later. Evidence: solid That's reason enough for a check, whatever it's doing to the relationship.
Desire that drops away suddenly is a doctor question before it's a relationship one. Depression, some medications and hormones can all do it. Evidence: decent
Low testosterone is what the ads will suggest. The guideline treats it only when a blood test confirms low levels and there are symptoms. Evidence: solid In the normal range, the link to desire is weak. Evidence: decent
If sex hurts, you or your partner, stop. Pain is always a doctor matter, never something to push through.
Same theme: Desire
Desire
Don't wait to feel like it
If you both want time together and you're open but not in the mood yet, that needn't be a no. Start slow and see if the wanting follows. If it doesn't, stop.
no timeEvidence: worth trying
Desire
Generous, not dutiful
When your partner wants closeness and you're lukewarm but open to it, you can say yes to what you're glad to give. If you're not open to it, say no. Both answers are fine.
no timeEvidence: decent
Desire
Say the gap out loud, once
On a calm day, outside the bedroom, say it plainly: I think we want it at different times. Then ask how it is for your partner, and listen.
10 minEvidence: worth trying