Researchers call it sexual communal strength: how motivated you are to meet a partner's sexual needs, including on days your own desire is low. In two studies of couples, one of them a daily diary, people higher in it had partners who were more satisfied and more committed. Evidence: decent
Read the small print, because this is easy to get wrong. It only counts when you want to and it's mutual. In a later study by the same researchers, giving while ignoring your own needs went with lower sexual satisfaction for the one giving. Evidence: decent It is not going along with something you don't want. It never means expecting your partner to do the same for you, and it's never a reason to ask twice. A no, from either of you, stays a no.
What's left is the same generosity you'd show anywhere else in the relationship, on the days you have it to give.
Same theme: Desire
Desire
Don't wait to feel like it
If you both want time together and you're open but not in the mood yet, that needn't be a no. Start slow and see if the wanting follows. If it doesn't, stop.
no timeEvidence: worth trying
Desire
New erection trouble, sudden low desire, or pain? See a doctor
Book a doctor if erections have become a new problem, desire dropped away suddenly, or sex hurts. Say it plainly, the way you'd describe a bad knee.
10 minEvidence: solid
Desire
Say the gap out loud, once
On a calm day, outside the bedroom, say it plainly: I think we want it at different times. Then ask how it is for your partner, and listen.
10 minEvidence: worth trying