Anger narrows the view to your own side. Deliberately taking the other person's viewpoint widens it again, and in studies it lowers your own distress and makes the next conversation go better. Evidence: decent
You don't have to agree afterwards. You have to have understood. Most fights are two people who never did the minute.
Same theme: When it turns into a fight
When it turns into a fight
Ask what they saw, not what they meant
When you hear "you always do this" or "your work's been sloppy", ask for the last time it happened and what they saw. Then answer that, not the "always".
no timeEvidence: worth trying
When it turns into a fight
Book the money talk, don't spring it
Don't raise money the moment a bill lands or a purchase shows up. Say "Can we go through money on Sunday, half an hour?" Then keep to it.
30 minEvidence: worth trying
When it turns into a fight
Call a break, name the return
"I'm too wound up to do this well. Twenty minutes. I'm coming back." Then come back.
20 minEvidence: worth trying