Most of a relationship is not big talks. It's the tiny offers, dozens a day: "look at this", "listen to that", "you won't believe what he said". Each one is a small test of whether you're there.
One lab coded a few dozen newlyweds over ten minutes of dinner and found that the couples who answered those offers more were warmer and funnier with each other when they argued. The "stayed together versus split" numbers you'll see quoted online come from a book, not the paper, and nobody has repeated the study. The direction is plausible and costs three seconds. Evidence: worth trying
Grunting doesn't count. Looking up does.
Same theme: Day to day
Day to day
Do something new together
Ninety minutes a week, something neither of you has done. A climbing wall, a cooking class, a town you've never been to. Slightly out of your depth is the point.
90 min a weekEvidence: decent
Day to day
Hug for a slow count of twenty
Before a hard day, or a hard conversation, one long hug. Count to twenty in your head. No talking.
1 minEvidence: decent
Day to day
Laugh at the same thing
Stop trying to be funny. Notice what makes you both laugh, and go back there.
no timeEvidence: worth trying