Liking gap
A bias found in conversation studies: after talking with someone new, people tend to think the other person liked them less than they actually did.
The liking gap is the tendency to underestimate how much someone you've just talked with liked you and enjoyed your company. Evidence: decent A team led by the psychologist Erica Boothby named it in 2018. Evidence: solid They found it with strangers in a lab, first-year students sharing university suites, and members of the public meeting at a workshop. Each time, people underrated how they came across: how much the other person liked them and enjoyed their company, or, at the workshop, how interesting they were found. Evidence: decent It held after short and long conversations, and among the suite mates it lasted for months. Evidence: decent Later studies found it in small group conversations and in engineering teams working on a project together. Evidence: decent
Part of it may be where your attention goes afterwards. The more people dwelt on the bad side of the impression they'd made, the bigger the gap. Evidence: decent
Where it gets oversold: it's an average, not a promise. Some people really didn't click with you. Evidence: decent Most of the people studied were young, and many were students. Evidence: decent
Why it matters
The replay on the way home is a poor guide to how it went, which is the case for assuming it went better and for booking the next one before you leave. Evidence: decent A second mistake stacks on top: people expect a message to be less welcome than it turns out to be. That's the case for sending it. Evidence: decent