Stay two minutes past the urge to leave

Getting out of an uncomfortable moment brings relief, and relief works as a reward. In the research on fear, that relief is what teaches the escape, and the habit spreads to situations beyond the one it started in. Evidence: decent It's also why exposure therapy, which means facing the feared thing instead of avoiding it, asks you not to escape. Evidence: decent

Nobody has tested this on a man being told he never listens. Carrying it over to everyday defensiveness is a reasonable step, not a result. Evidence: worth trying

Two minutes isn't a magic number. It's short enough that you'll do it.

This is for discomfort, not for a fight that's running away. If your heart is pounding and you can't hear a word, take a proper break and come back. If someone is threatening you, or it's heading toward anyone getting hurt, leave.