Boredom is the quiet killer. In one long study, couples who were bored at year seven were less satisfied at year sixteen. In a trial, couples told to do ninety minutes a week of something new and exciting for a month reported better relationships, and it held four months later. Diary studies find the same route: new, slightly challenging things together, more desire, more satisfaction. Evidence: decent
Exciting means new and a bit hard, not expensive. Same restaurant, same film, same sofa is the opposite of this.
Same theme: Day to day
Day to day
Answer the small stuff
When your partner points something out, a bird, a headline, a thing about their day, look up and say something. Three seconds.
no timeEvidence: worth trying
Day to day
Hug for a slow count of twenty
Before a hard day, or a hard conversation, one long hug. Count to twenty in your head. No talking.
1 minEvidence: decent
Day to day
Laugh at the same thing
Stop trying to be funny. Notice what makes you both laugh, and go back there.
no timeEvidence: worth trying