Split care by task, not by fairness

When a mother needs care, the brother or sister doing it tends to report more tension with the others. A study of 214 families found it's worse when they believe she has a favourite. Evidence: decent

Favourites are not imagined. Asked seven years apart, mothers tended to pick the same grown child as closest, or as the one they'd want caring for them. It wasn't mostly birth order or education: the child more like them, and the one who helped, was picked. That comes from mothers' own reports. Evidence: decent

So an argument about what's fair tends to pull in the old question of who was loved more. A list of tasks doesn't. It turns "you never help" into "Thursday's appointment is yours". Nobody has tested this. Evidence: worth trying

Equal is not the goal. Clear is. The sister who lives abroad can own the bills.