"Call your parents more" is the standard advice. It assumes more contact means a better relationship. That doesn't always hold.
One study of middle-aged adults and their parents compared how often they phoned or emailed with how good the relationship was. For fathers whose health limits what they can do day to day, more frequent contact came with a worse relationship. Mothers' health problems made no such difference, and neither did fathers' other problems. Evidence: decent
That's one study and one group, measured once, so it doesn't mean calling does harm. It means more is not reliably better, and the number of calls is not a reliable way to judge how you're doing. Evidence: decent
What happens on the call is the part you control. One real question, and the patience to hear the answer, is a better use of ten minutes than three calls about the weather. Evidence: worth trying
Same theme: Parents and in-laws
Parents and in-laws
Ask about their life, and write it down
Next time you're with your mother or father, ask one question about their life you can't answer yourself. Write down what they said that evening.
15 minEvidence: worth trying
Parents and in-laws
Expect the mixed feeling
After a call or a visit with a parent that left you irritated, tell yourself one line: "Both. I love them and they annoy me." Then leave it there.
no timeEvidence: worth trying
Parents and in-laws
One thing, not the whole list
When your parent and your partner clash, don't bring the whole history to either of them. Pick the one thing that has to change and say only that.
5 minEvidence: worth trying