Strangers put in a room and told to take turns answering gradually more personal questions felt closer after forty-five minutes than strangers who made small talk. That's the study behind the "36 questions that make you fall in love". It showed closeness, in one sitting. It never showed love, and the same paper found two other tricks did nothing. Evidence: decent
The part that matters is the turn-taking. In a later study by another group, pairs who alternated felt closer and liked each other more than pairs where one person talked and the other listened. Evidence: decent
So: one true thing, then a pause. Match their depth. Out-running them wasn't tested; my bet is it reads as pressure, not openness. Evidence: worth trying
Same theme: When it turns into a fight
When it turns into a fight
Argue their side for a minute
When someone's got you angry, spend one minute making their case as if you meant it.
1 minEvidence: decent
When it turns into a fight
Ask what they saw, not what they meant
When you hear "you always do this" or "your work's been sloppy", ask for the last time it happened and what they saw. Then answer that, not the "always".
no timeEvidence: worth trying
When it turns into a fight
Book the money talk, don't spring it
Don't raise money the moment a bill lands or a purchase shows up. Say "Can we go through money on Sunday, half an hour?" Then keep to it.
30 minEvidence: worth trying