How to do it
- Check the clock and your stomach. The link was with the couples' evening blood sugar.
- Say it: "Let's eat, then talk." Then talk. A delay with a time on it isn't a dodge.
- A normal meal. Nothing special was tested.
- Don't turn food into a way to never get to it.
What the couples showed
- Blood sugarchecked twice a day
107 married couples measured their blood sugar before breakfast and before bed for 21 days.
- Voodoo dollstood for the partner
Each evening they put up to 51 pins in a doll of their partner, as many as matched how angry they were. Lower evening blood sugar went with more pins.
- Noise blastslouder and longer
In a lab game afterwards, people whose evening blood sugar ran lower sent louder, longer noise to what they thought was their partner.
- Youeat first
It's a link, not a test of eating. Eating first is cheap; that it takes the edge off a real row is a guess.
Why it works
In a study of 107 married couples, evenings with lower blood sugar went with more signs of aggression towards the partner. Evidence: decent It's a correlation, so it doesn't prove hunger causes anything. Evidence: decent
Eating first costs you twenty minutes and a sentence. That makes it a cheap bet. Evidence: worth trying
The long readEvery step of the chain, each study with its numbers, and what's still unproven. 2 min read.
What happens in your brain
This chain is what the couples study measured, not brain areas.
Blood sugar, twice a day. 107 married couples measured their blood sugar before breakfast and before bed for 21 days. Evidence: decent
Pins in a doll. Each evening they put up to 51 pins in a voodoo doll that stood for their partner, as many as matched how angry they were. On average, lower evening blood sugar went with more pins. Evidence: decent
Noise in a lab game. After the three weeks, in a lab game, people whose evening blood sugar ran lower on average sent louder and longer blasts of noise to what they thought was their partner. It was a computer. Evidence: decent
Eat first. Nobody fed anyone and watched the anger drop. That eating before a hard conversation makes it go better is a guess from a link. Evidence: worth trying
The proof
- 107 married couples, evening blood sugar for 21 days: lower blood sugar went with more pins in a doll of the partner. Evidence: decent
- In a lab game after the three weeks, lower average evening blood sugar went with louder, longer noise blasts at what they thought was the partner. Evidence: decent
- Both are correlations, and both are stand-ins for aggression, not real rows. Evidence: decent
How to do it
- If it's evening and you haven't eaten, eat first.
- Say it: "Let's eat, then talk." Then talk. A delay with a time on it isn't a dodge.
- A normal meal. Nothing special was tested.
- Don't turn food into a way to never get to it.
Watch out
One study, and a correlation. Pins in a doll and noise in a lab game stand in for aggression; they aren't real rows. Evidence: decent A published reply pointed out that the noise result used three-week averages, so it can't show that low sugar in the moment was the cause. Evidence: decent "Hungry makes you angry" is more than this shows. Evidence: worth trying
If the anger is turning physical, or it frightens the people around you, or you're afraid of what you'll do next, step away. Then get help: a doctor, or a programme for men who want to stop being abusive, where one exists.